Business expansion & nervous system regulation
The past couple of weeks, I’ve been having a lot of conversations with my 1:1 coaching clients around the topic of nervous system regulation and how it is directly linked to the expansion (or lack of expansion) of their business. For most of them, one of the topic that’s been coming up is the importance of triggers that show up in their life and how these triggers often hold a key to their next level.
What triggers you also reveals what you need to heal.
If you’ve been in business for a little while now, you know how difficult and triggering this whole entrepreneurial journey can be. And at one point, after a lot of struggling and fighting against our feelings, I think we all come to a point where we have no other choice but to fully embrace the healing journey that is awaiting us entrepreneurs.
And it gets to feel really good and healing if we decide to stop fighting our triggers and choose to see the gold that lies behind them. Every trigger has a lesson for us. And the moment we get curious enough to lean in and uncover the lesson, is when things start to really shift positively for us and our business.
Why? Because if we simply ignore our triggers and suppress our feelings, we won’t heal — and they’ll keep resurfacing into our lives over and over again, until we process them. Similar situations, disguised under different people, will come up again and again until we finally get the memo, that it’s time to let this old trauma go.
Why it’s important to investigate our triggers?
The thing with triggers is that, with time, if we keep getting triggered over and over again by the same people and situations, it can really get to us and drain all of our energy. And that beautiful energy that we are leaking over and over again is keeping us vibrating at a lower frequency.
And as you might know, to attract more money, opportunities & clients into your business you need to elevate your frequency. And one of the main ways to elevate your frequency is to let go of these old wounds that are stored in your body and bringing you down over and over again.
How to find the lesson behind the triggers
So you might ask : “How do I find the lessons behind my triggers and stop them from happening over and over again?” Here is a step by step guide I use myself and I guide my clients through to help them process old triggers :
Each time a situation or someone does something that stirs up emotions within you, take the time to complete each sentences in writing. This will help you better grasp the hidden gem within the situation. The lesson life is sending you!
When you do the exercise, if you feel an emotion rising within you, allow yourself to experience it if it feels good. By letting them flow freely, without resisting them, your emotions will gradually subside.
1. It bothers me OR it gets to me when...
2. Because I feel that ... It makes me feel (write down the feeling that comes up)
3. It takes me back to when I was a child ...
(Write down the childhood memory that spontaneously comes to mind, without thinking too much, even if it seems trivial!)
4. Write down what you would have liked as a child.
I would have needed him/her... I would have liked...
5. Today it's still difficult for me to accept that someone ...
MY LESSON
I must accept that --insert person's name (question 1) -- tends to --insert answer to question 5 -- and remind myself that it's up to me to fulfill my need to --insert answer to question 4 -- without waiting for that person to fulfill that need for me.
Here is a PDF of the French version of this exercise if you would like to download it.
Real-life example
Let me share with you a concrete example that happened lately in my own life so you can understand better how to use this exercise for yourself. Not long ago, I went to get a blood test at the hospital and something that might seem trivial to some, was actually very triggering to me. As I was waiting for my turn in the waiting room the nurse that called my name got pretty bossy and yelled at me in front of every one in the waiting room, because apparently she had been calling my number more than once but I hadn’t seen it on the screen.
This event and the way she spoke to me, in front of all these people, was very triggering to me. It didn’t sit well with me, and I got reactive. She was not going to speak to me like that! After the event, I knew by how much it had activated me, that this event was a trigger I needed to investigate deeper. So let’s do it together here.
1. It bothers me OR it gets to me when... someone yells at me or is impatient with me.
2. Because I feel that … she shouldn’t be speaking to me like that. That she has no right to be so bossy with me. It makes me feel (write down the feeling that comes up) … angry and sad at the same time
3. It takes me back to when I was a child ... here my body took me directly to a similar situation that I had lived as a child in a physical education class where my teacher had yelled at me and called me out of the class because I had not heard my name when he was taking attendance.
(Write down the childhood memory that spontaneously comes to mind, without thinking too much, even if it seems trivial!)
4. Write down what you would have liked as a child.
I would have needed him/her... I would have needed him to be a lot more patient with me. Less bossy and more empathic with me. I would have liked... for him to be softer with me, and to listen to me when I was telling him that I had not heard my name being called out (I was a little bit of a lunatic child and truly had not heard my name that time).
5. Today it's still difficult for me to accept that someone ... is hard on me and speaks harshly to me without considering my point of view.
MY LESSON
I must accept that -- some people -- tend to --be hard on me and speak harshly to me without considering me -- and remind myself that it's up to me to fulfill my need for -- softness, patience, being considered and listened to -- without waiting for that person to fulfill that need for me.
Next steps
This may seem like a lot, but the more often you do it, the easier it is to connect back the dots to your childhood and old traumas (smaller and bigger ones) that need to be released. So in this case, I knew that this past event that I had lived in my first year of primary school had been really impactful for me. And I knew this nurse, was coming into my life, so that I could release it once and for all.
And for the record, I did tell her in front of everyone, not to speak to me like that — and that was part of the healing for me as well. Stepping up into my power (without any yelling) just me affirming my value and putting a boundary up, was part of the healing.
But what I also did, after tracing back the old memory, was sit in my room that night and connect back to that past event. And then I felt all the feelings that needed to be felt, that I had suppressed when it had happened as a child. All the sadness and fear that the little Catherine had been experiencing all alone that day when her physical education teacher had kicked her out of the class for being a little lunatic. I gave her so much love, spoke to her softly and told her that she did not deserve that kind of treatment and to never let anyone speak to her in that way ever again.
Why this work matters
There are so many reasons why doing this kind of work matters, but the most obvious one is because when you release old traumas like this you start to feel A LOT lighter. All the weight that you had been carrying all those years can finally be lifted. You start to feel a lot more peaceful and joyful and that beautiful energy can only attract beautiful things into your life. And what happens next is that, even if you do encounter similar people or situations, they don’t get to you anymore. You don’t get triggered and activated anymore, which is so freeing.
All of a sudden, the energy that used to consume you can be put into projects and people that truly matter. You’ve just expanded your nervous system capacity to hold more and access your next level in life and business.
If you have any questions on this topic, do not hesitate to reach out to me in private or write a comment below. I’m here to support you in the best way possible. And if you would like to do some deeper 1:1 work with me, you can book a discovery call here or reach out to me directly on instagram.
Sending you so much love,
Catherine x
